A Shout Out to My Hubby!

When I got married, my mother-in-law said to me that I found "one in a million" in my husband. Of course, she is rightly-so biased, but I think she's wrong. I found my "one in a trillion." My husband is the most funny, smart, thoughtful, and considerate gentleman I have ever known. He is also the best daddy to our little girl (and soon to be baby boy), and he's handsome to boot! I am reminded how special my guy is from time to time, especially when I'm at the gym. Without fail, there is always a guy or two who coughs in your direction, doesn't wipe off the equipment even though there are signs posted everywhere that says to do it, and will drop weights with a bang without considering others' peace and quiet all the while acting entitled. In the end, I am just glad to do my one-hour of cardio, get out of there, and come home to my favorite fella!

Portland, The Perfect Little City

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love Portland, Oregon:

10. It's so green (and lush and pretty)!

9. Oregonians are such nice, friendly people.

8. There's no sales tax. Let me repeat: there's no sales tax.

7. It's big enough that you're not running into the same folks over and over again. But if you tend the frequent the same places, you will start to see some "familiar" faces.

6. The quality of life and cost of living is so much better here, than say, the Bay Area.

5. Driving anywhere that takes more than 25 minutes is now considered "far."

4. I feel like I have a special connection to fellow minorities because there are so few of us.

3. When there's a new cashier at our local grocery store, we notice RIGHT AWAY.

2. Portland is situated equally between the beach and the mountains. Not that we go often, but you know, we could.

1. A tight-knit community - a place we call home!

Guilty As Charged

One of the things I am often being accused of is that of being a "chocolate collector." Mainly, this includes buying hoards of chocolates and not eating them. This particular habit of mine drives my husband crazy, because he purposely avoids keeping snacks and other treats in the house so he wouldn't be tempted to eat them. Funnily enough, this also drives me crazy because whatever it is that I am craving for at that moment is usually missing (i.e. eaten).

Our circumstance reminds me of what Daisy Buchanan of The Great Gatsby once said to Nick Carraway, and that is, you're not a bad driver until you meet another bad driver (paraphrased). Similarly, I wouldn't be a "chocolate collector" if I didn't live with someone who was a "chocolate eater," right? You see, the reason why I keep a variety of chocolates and sweets around is that I never know what I might be in the mood for. Like someone who's preparing for the next natural disaster, I am gearing up for my next "chocolate crisis."

Query

Someone I barely knew from my graduating social work class told me of his trip to India, and how he witnessed children, half-naked on the streets, who were just so happy, smiley, and giddy playing around in puddles of oil. Yet, American children are so dissatisfied with everything - even brand new toys - and have an insatiable want for more in quest of finding an evanescent happiness.

I haven't thought about that statement in a while, and maybe it's because I've been reading a Buddhism book, or maybe it's because I now have my own child, that I am reminded of all the new and shiny things we buy for her. Is all that materialism necessary? It's hard not to want things, especially if the Joneses have it. And in our society, success is measured by quantity, not quality, and it's also hard not to fall prey into that materialistic way of thinking (I want, I want, I want!) Still, you have to admit, after getting what you wanted, it's never enough, is it? There's always something else that you want and there remains a deep and unsatisfied hollow within us.

How shall we fill that emptiness? With love? With hope? With peace? With spirituality? With God? And no one knows the answer to that question better than yourself. But the problem is, what if you don't know? We can't all become Buddhist monks and abandon our families and material possessions. What shall you do in the meantime? Continue our search? For what? I don't have the answers to these questions, and I'm sorry to put you through this mental gymnastics, blog-readers, I'm only following one of Buddha's eightfold paths.

Old Habits Die Hard

A family friend of ours came over for dinner the other day and inquired about our quarter jar, which is an old mayonnaise jar filled with quarters that sits on our fireplace mantle. Since we have a washer and dryer in our apartment, there was no clear reason why we had a quarter jar. I say it is for Nicole's college fund, but really, it's an old habit of mine from almost a decade of using coin operated laundromats.

Let's see...this includes 4 years of college (when I lived in Germany they used tokens, but still the same idea), 2 years of graduate school, and even when I bought my condo, the complex shared laundry facilities using quarters (that's another 2 years).

Quarters are like gold. And like gold, quarters are not as easy to come by. Some banks are not willing to exchange bills for quarters unless you were an actual customer of the bank (and no, not the walk-in kind). The grocery stores around the college campus would not exchange them for you because they were so use to college kids begging for quarters. And being the responsible, slightly anal roommate, my roommates were always mooching quarters off of me, which meant that I was always on the lookout for more quarters.

In addition to having my mom buy me rolls of quarters from her bank, I also got in the habit of paying for everything with bills in order to acquire my quarters' collection. Even if something was $1.01 and I had a penny on me, I'd still pay with $2 because this meant I was getting a whooping THREE quarters back! I find myself doing the same today sometimes, even though it's been over four years since I've stepped into a laundromat. Still, you never know when you're gonna need those quarters!

Top 15 Benefits of Being Unemployed

15. Having strangers wonder to themselves, "Don't people have to work anymore?"

14. Family day trips to Multnomah Falls and the beach

13. Being available for doctor appointments, carpet cleaning, and other appointments

12. Lavish homemade lunches (followed by a nap)

11. Reading or watching a movie on the couch

10. Grocery shopping in the middle of the day in the middle of the week

9. Having a clean house and no need to do chores on the weekends

8. Relishing in an empty playground, swimming pool, etc. and no lines when running errands

7. Greeting the mailman, UPS and FedEx drivers, in-person

6. Having the time to volunteer

5. Watching Oprah and cooking shows on the Food Network

4. Napping in the afternoon (or morning)

3. Hitting the gym when no one's there

2. Spending time with my awesome husband

1. Quality time with my cutie pie daughter

Balancing

As any parent knows, balancing is not an easy act. It's a mixture of compromise and multi-tasking. Now that bar studies are well under way, as in, there is much more work than I have time for, I am called upon to balance my priorities once again.

Although I have always been blessed with great time-management skills, being a mom has changed the way I balance because I would rather spend every waking minute with my daughter. But I can't. BarBri has me by my neck collar with its daily rigor of 3.5 hour morning courses 5-6 days/wk plus homework assignments requiring a bazillion hours of your time per day.

So, I must make compromises and sacrifices where I can and this has yielded the following "results" thus far:

1. I'm not going to kill myself to get the daily assignments done. I will do as much as I can during the week and use the weekend to catch-up.

2. But I will also devote an entire weekend day to my family, which means no studying and squeezing in my chores (cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping!) on the same day.

3. Sleep is important, and I will never compromise that one.

4. I allow myself 30-45 minutes a night to rewind before bed, such as watching tv or reading a magazine.

5. Because Nicole's sad face breaks my heart every time I leave in the mornings, I will come home early once a week (on Wednesdays) to spend some quality play time with her.

6. I will allow others to help me (i.e. cook, clean, and take care of Nicole).

7. Exercise is important too, which is why I like to take Nicole out on walks, allowing me to get a workout and spend time with her!

8. The sacrifices I've made sometimes means that I will not be taking practice tests during the hours of 9-5pm and sometimes the only "quiet" place in the house is on my bed, which is also not very conducive to studying, but again, it's another compromise I'm willing to make occasionally.

9. I will waste my time (i.e. on Facebook and my blog) if it keeps me sane!

10. The light at the end of my tunnel? Our Alaska trip and getting to spend all my time with Nicole! (and job-hunting...haha)

So...onward!

The Art of Gift-Giving

Giving a gift is probably not as much fun as receiving one, but it ought to be.

The best gifts I have ever received are ones that are unexpected, thoughtful, and tailored to that individual's taste. Starting a couple years ago, I started buying gifts for family and friends whenever I see something that I think they'd like, rather than waiting for the annual holiday or birthday, when you're just scrambling around to find something that the person might like - lip gloss, Sudoku puzzle, poetry magnets. It can become a pretty desperate experience. If I don't do this, I sometimes find myself with "gift-giver's remorse." Somehow, saying "I saw blah at the store and thought of buying it for you, but didn't" is not very satisfying to any of the parties involved.

Of course, if I were a millionaire, gift-giving would be a cinch (money *is* the solution to everything, right?), but the reality is, I'm not. Sometimes the gift-giving grinch can get the best of me. Before I buy a gift, I will think to myself, "well, so-and-so didn't buy me a gift for (insert occasion), so why should I buy a gift for them?" This, of course, goes against the spirit of the gift-giving and is contrary to my idea of the best gift - the unexpected ones.

Recently I had the pleasure of receiving some unexpected packages in the mail from friends and relatives (btw, I count gifts for my daughter as gifts for myself!) and it spurred me to send unexpected gifts to others. Gift-giving is like karma: what goes around, comes around. If you don't share some of your gift-giving spirit, you won't experience it either!

Happy Birthday Nicole!

Our precious little girl turned 8 months old today, and I'd just like to take a moment to reflect on what remarkable baby she is (if I don't say so myself...ahem). Nicole has become quite the skilled crawler - she loves following us around the house. Lately, Nicole's been eager to pull herself up and she will grab on to nearly everything to accomplish such a task, even on some things that are not-so-steady.

Nicole also gets lots of attention when we go out - people like to marvel at what a beautiful baby she is. And Nicole loves to interact with people, especially babies and other small children. Nicole is also a very active and mischievous child, often requiring us to keep close supervision lest she ingests something she's not suppose to. Nicole seems to have a penchant for cables, shoe laces, and paper. You'd think that we aren't feeding her at the rate that she goes after paper! On the contrary, we make her baby food from scratch and her dietary repertoire includes carrots, sweet potatoes, apples, celery, brown rice cakes, egg yokes, turkey, rice, oatmeal, barley, chicken, lamb, bananas, pears, peas, avocados, zucchinis, yellow squash, applesauce, and peaches.

Nicole loves music too. If she is ever upset, all we have to do is sing to her and she will immediately stop crying. Nicole, who has slept in her own room since she was 2 months old, is also an excellent sleeper and a good napper too. She sleeps well above the recommended average of 14 hours a day - often sleeping 12 hours at night with two 1.5 hour naps during the day. All we do is put Nicole in her sleep sack, lay her down, and she will go right to sleep without much pomp and circumstance. We are truly blessed to have Nicole in our lives - she has brought joy to everyone who knows her.

The Holidays

Whenever there's a federal holiday, panic sets in. But it's not for the reason you're thinking of, it's because stores are either closed or have limited hours. So the day before a holiday, I find myself in grocery stores frantically stocking up on food we probably don't need because, God-forbid, the store might be closed for one stinkin' day! My year abroad in Germany is the most likely origin of this irrational fear. In Goettingen, where I lived and is true for most parts of Germany except maybe Berlin, most stores were closed on Sundays, including grocery stores.

This meant that my friends and I had to stock up enough food before Sunday in order to make it through the day, or else we'd have to eat out. And if you were a poor planner, or if you had just returned from a weekend getaway from another part of western Europe (which was often the case for us), we were stuck with nothing to eat or else a pastry from the one bakery that is open on Sundays (but only 'til 4pm). But I grew up in America, where stores open from 4am to midnight the day after Thanksgiving, and where you can count on places like McDonald's and Walgreens to be open on holidays. Capitalism at its finest, America is the land of 24-hour fast food chains, drive-through windows, take-out and delivery, and everything that is fast and convenient. No matter which holiday it is, someone is always working. Is this good for society and boosting family values? That's a topic for another blog, but I know I can't live without it!

Thanksgiving

Is it too soon to blog about Thanksgiving if there are still 6 hours left in the holiday? This year, we ordered a Thanksgiving meal for a party of two to-go from Salty's (see menu). In my opinion, this was the best to-go menu thus far. In previous years, we have ordered menus from Marco's Cafe, New Seasons, and dined in at Huber's. Out of all of the aforementioned places, Salty's is the best thus far!

Free Time

One of the advantages of being a student is that you have a flexible schedule (i.e. you don't have to work 9-5). One of the disadvantages, on the other hand, is that you end up working more hours than the traditional 8-hour days (and obviously the lack of a paycheck also). Law school has been a busy time for us, but I find that in every semester, there are "pockets" of free time for us to enjoy. For example, I don't have any classes before 2:30pm so that I can spend my mornings with Nicole. This semester, Thursdays has been special for us as a family because Tom only has 2 classes on Thursdays and the first one starts at 2pm. As a result, we have really taken advantage of Thursdays to "sleep in" (baby permitting), run errands, go out for breakfast or lunch, and just being a cute little family together.

SATC

Alright, now that SATC sequel is coming out, I can't hold this in any longer. Granted, most characters and scenarios in movies and TV are completely implausible, but Carrie Bradshaw's character is especially ridiculous. For example, in my latest Us Weekly, Carrie is depicted wearing a $435 Halston Heritage cocktail dress, Jee Vice's $170 Heated shades, a $865 Christian Louboutin's heels, and a $1,795 hobo bag. That is a total of $3,265 for ONE outfit, not counting the jewelry she has on!

Two theories on how she can afford her clothes: First, since she's now married to Mr. Big, who is suppose to be this uber-rich real estate developer, I guess her expensive ensemble is somewhat plausible, but the problem with this theory is that Carrie wore these classy coutures before she married him (and his money). Second, Carrie is able to afford all this apparel, as well as her mortgage on her Manhattan digs, on her weekly newspaper column. Unlikely. According to one internet source, weekly columnists get paid $75 per article, or $200 per week. Aside from the discrepancy between her supposed salary and her spendthrift ways, her column sucks. You couldn't even pay me to read her column (if it were real)! Have you ever noticed how each of her articles begin with a question that the show never answers? Stupid questions too, like, is the thirties really the new twenties? Or are men like dogs?

But will I still pay good money to see SATC II? Most definitely.

A collection of 3 random thoughts

So I thought I'd be supermom. Much to my dismay, I am not. I thought even with a baby, I'd have a spic-and-span house, a pie in the oven, and still have time for all my hobbies. I do not have any of these things, but I do have a healthy, beautiful daughter who is growing like a weed!

After "Vicky Christina Barcelona," I've finally made up my mind that I do not like Woody Allen films and I think I've figured out why. All of his female characters are these sexy bimbos who are easy to bed and otherwise weak in constitution of any sort. Obviously, the Academy Awards disagree with me, but I don't think we need to recognize Allen for his misogynistic movies.

I love eating lunch at Whole Foods (or similar gourmet grocery stores) because I love picnic-y type foods where I have the opportunity to sample a little of this and a little of that.

Our daily bread

Until recently, Tom and I have rarely agreed on bread. He prefers generic butter top wheat bread and my tastes are, well, fickle. One week I'd prefer rye, next week sourdough. But for now, it seems that we can finally come to an agreement thanks to Dave's Killer bread, a local bakery whose bread is yummy and nutritious. Even though I pay more for a loaf of Dave's Killer bread than I have ever paid for any other loaf, Dave's bread is worth every penny. Tom enjoys the freshness of the bread, made without any additives or preservatives, and I enjoy its nuttiness and seediness. Not only is his bread delicious, I can also feel good about supporting my local business. An added bonus is Dave's amazing and inspirational story about how he turned his life around after battles with meth addiction and spending 15 years in jail. Check out his bread and his website at: www.daveskillerbread.com. If you have not tried his bread, I strongly urge you to go out and buy a loaf - you'll love it!

Take Out

This has been a take-out sort of week. Between the intensity of my summer school class and taking care of Nicole in the mornings, there has been little time for me to cook dinner, much less anything else! Given the current heat wave, who would want to turn on the stove or oven anyway? (Tom does not eat salads either.) So we have been doing a lot of take-out lately, which, although they taste good is unfortunately not that good for you. Tom has been supportive in this regard by going out to pick up the food and picking up the tab. Here is what we had this week:

Wednesday - Panda Express

Thursday - Sweet Tomatoes (dine-in with coupon)

Friday - Red Robin

Saturday - McDonald's for breakfast and Old Market Pub for dinner

My mom will be here tomorrow and eating out for 3 will definitely be a lot more pricey than eating out for 2, so I finally dragged my butt to the grocery store and now our fridge is fully stocked with meals planned for every day this week. =)

The Cupertino Inn

We recently had an occasion to stay at the Cupertino Inn in Cupertino, CA, right across the street from Apple headquarters (just a coincidence). Here's the thing about me: I have a fetish for hotels. The fancier the better. To me, hotels represent a true vacation. With swimming pools, an exercise room, room service, wi-fi internet, cable TV, a big bed, VCR with a movie library, a refreshment center, and AC, it's hard not to feel pampered and care-free. Staying at hotels also means that I'm not staying at home, which means I'm not surrounded by my usual environs of house chores and endless to-do lists.

Some hotels go above and beyond its usual call of duty and I would list the Cupertino Inn as one of them. Although it's rough on the exterior, caters mainly to business travelers, and one could see that the hotel was at its prime in the late 70's or early 80's at best, the Cupertino Inn had other amenities that make up for its shortcomings. Free food always wins me over. For example, its hot breakfast buffet is quite excellent. With its daily offering of waffles, cereals, juices, eggs, meats, pastries, toasts, fruits, coffee and tea, the breakfast bar is sure a crowd pleaser.

The best part, though, has to be its complimentary cocktail and hors d'oeuvres hour from 5-7pm daily. Do I need to say more than FREE cocktails? Unfortunately, my breastfeeding regime sort of put a curb to my alcohol consumption, but I did partake in some hot potato skins, taquitos, mini-pizza, cheese and crackers, veggie dips, and fruit. I also liked that the Cupertino Inn had a hot coffee and tea bar available 24/hrs a day. Oh and did I mention that they also have a complimentary limo service that takes guests to the airport?

I am also looking forward to our next vacation in mid-August and hotel stay at the fancy-pants Fairmont Hotel in Vancouver, BC, which is offering us a free crib, mini-fridge, and much much more! See: http://www.fairmont.com/hotelvancouver

The Woes of Breastfeeding

By now, I could probably write a whole book on all of our breastfeeding woes. From the get-go, Nicole did not have a good latch. For example, she would only suck on the nipple, rather than the areola. A nurse introduced the nipple shield to help her better identify the nipple, which we are still using. Also, no one at the hospital emphasized the importance of breastfeeding right after birth which delayed my milk production. By Day 3, my milk still hadn't come in yet and Nicole was hungry so we started giving her some formula in a bottle. It is one of the worst feelings in the world when you know you can't feed your child.

By the time we checked out of the hospital, Nicole was 11% down from her birth weight (normal is 7-10%). We were told to supplement with formula and after a week, she had regained some weight she lost and was now only 5% down from her birth weight. We saw our first lactation consultant at this time and she basically scared us with childhood obesity and diabetes and told us to stop supplementing Nicole, which we did. The week following that was hard, because Nicole cried a lot and nothing we did calmed her. She would only stop crying after she had worn herself out. We saw another lactation consultant, who told us that Nicole was crying because she was hungry. Even though I was breastfeeding her 8-12 times a day, she wasn't getting enough from me. So, we went back to formula. To this day, we still feel incredibly guilty for not recognizing her hungry cries and under-feeding our poor girl!

Our next problem was that because Nicole was going back and forth between the bottle and the breast, Nicole struggled at the breast because she wasn't getting the "flow" that she liked. So, we went back to see another lactation consultant who taught me how to pump properly in order to increase my milk production. Things were going pretty well for a while and we checked in with another lactation consultant who prescribed Fenugreek - this herb that is suppose to increase mother's milk.

Our next challenge was getting Nicole to stop being a snacker (i.e. eating every 2 hours which was exhausting for me and my breasts) and being a more efficient eater. So we saw Kathleen, my favorite lactation consultant who is from Texas and who watches out for my best interest as well as Nicole's. She suggested a "Sane Plan" where we feed her 3 oz. every 3 hours. I still pump almost after every feeding and we are still supplementing with formula with the hopes that my milk production will eventually catch up.

So, 4 lactation consultants and 5 appointments later, our most urgent breastfeeding concerns are behind us but things still aren't smooth sailing. So stay tuned!

The Birth Plan

Mama makes a birth plan and Baby laughs.

My birth of Nicole did not go as planned, to say the least. I had envisioned a natural birth, with the least amount of medical intervention as possible, even though I planned to give birth in the hospital with a doctor. I had also imagined that it would be a lot of hard work, but beautiful in the end and very worth it. The latter part was true enough, but the process was very different than the one I planned on.

My water broke at 4:30am on Saturday, May 2nd when I was in the kitchen, fetching a snack. After I woke Tom up, I called the hospital right away. The nurse said to make my way to the hospital in a few hours. After cleaning the house, grabbing breakfast at McDonald's, a decaf mocha from Dutch Bros, grabbing some last minute items such as snacks and tennis balls at Target, and taking a short nap, we checked in to OHSU around 9:30am.

After hooking me up to the baby monitor to make sure that baby's heartbeat was regular, the doctors checked to see if my bag o' water was indeed broken. Apparently a lot of women leak urine and mistake it for amniotic fluid. Unfortunately they weren't certain the first time they checked, so after a few hours they checked again to confirmed that yes, it was indeed broken. One unnamed doctor also checked my cervix (in a not-so-gently-way) and I was only 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated.

Now that my water was broken, the conversation turned to whether or not I wanted to start Pitocin, which I absolutely did not want to do because it interferes with your body's natural ability to cope with labor pains. I was more or less badgered into starting Pitocin, however, because my body did not start contractions on its own after my water had broken and there is an increased chance of infection for mom and baby if baby is not delivered within 24-hours after the water is broken.

I started Pitocin at 4:30pm and ended at 5am the next day (my highest dosage was about 60 ml) and was very frustrated upon finding out that after all that, I had only dilated to 2cm and 80% effaced. The doctors decided to let me rest and eat some breakfast while they pow-wowed on what to do with me next. The options weren't too good, in my opinion, complicated by the fact that I was Group B Strep (GBS) positive. The options were: 1) continue labor with Pitocin, except this time, the doctors were prepared to give me the full dosage. In addition, they would insert an intrauterine pressure catheter (IUPC) which would measure the adequacy of my contractions for at least 2 hours. If my contractions weren't "adequate," I would have a C-section (due to the amount of time that will have passed since my water broke). The risks associated with this option is fetal distress and a risk of infection to baby and me. My second option was an elective C-section and the downside of that is of course the longer recovery process.

I chose the latter option, because I felt like I had already gone through an entire night of labor and I didn't want to go through that again. Also, there was no guarantee that the first option would work, which would result in a C-section anyway with now an increased risk to baby. At the time of the C-section, I was only 3 cm dilated. Aside from the injection of the spinal block, which kind of stung, the C-section itself was not too bad and it was such a joy to hear my baby's first cry after what seemed like 10 minutes of doctors poking around. The worst part of the whole hospital experience, in my opinion, was the administration of IV penicillin through the hand. That hurt like a b****.

I can't say I wasn't disappointed or bitter about the whole experience. Tom asked me, knowing what I know now, what I would change. I wish I had the courage to let my body do its own thing, but I could not have known that everything would turn out ok and that the baby would be fine. In the end, we got a healthy and beautiful baby girl, which is all that any parent can ask for really, but I do hope that my next birth goes more smoothly.

Why I Love Powell's Books

The short answer is: because they buy back my books and cash in my hot little hands always make me super happy.

When Tom and I first met, we use to buy our books from Barnes & Noble because we had a B&N card which saved us 10% on each purchase. And when that ran out after a year, we bought our books from Costco. Then when we got married, we registered for a few books on Amazon.com and had been recycling the store credit from the registry ever since. In the summer of 2007, we did a massive overhaul of our stuff and sold about $400 worth of books to Powell's. Most of the big ticket items were Tom's fantasy and sci-fi books in paperback and we donated the rest to Oregon Women Lawyers (OWLS).

In an effort to make *more* room for the baby, I recently cleared out all of my German literature books. These are the ones I kept from college with the intention of going back to the language or picking up a German poetry book to read one day when I had free time (ha!). Ten years passed and I did not once open up these books. I really didn't think Powell's was going to buy them back, but to my surprise, they bought all but two. I was able to exchange this one box of books for $47 cash or $57 in store credit. I opted for store credit this time and exchanged it for "Healthy Sleeping Habits," "Baby Bargain Books," and "Lonely Planet's Alaska" (2009). A box of books that had been sitting on my shelf for 3 books on my wish list, plus $10 store credit? Not a bad trade-off I say!